You weren’t even there

I saw you in the morning, and you weren’t even there
But it sure smelt like you, the way you did right after the shower
When our love was still a bud of an uncrushed flower

That touch, it was so real, like your fingers running through my hair
Long back, when we still lived without much care
Your eyes were sparkling, the way they did every time you smiled
In those days when it was okay to be crazy and a little bit wild

I swear I saw you in the morning and I know you weren’t even there
The smell, the touch, your smile, my love was so real
Surreal is it not? That it could almost be a dream.
like getting wet in the rain just outside your house,
but the water could be from a faraway stream

This has happened to me before, this will happen to me again
I know you were never there and you will never be
But can you blame me for living on the possibility

- Amit Mehra

The Beginning of The End of The Beginning

The Beginning of the End of the Beginning


Where do I start? My Lord, Where do I start?

From Corrupt air I breathe? Or the cynical water I drink? Perhaps frustrated food I eat or even polluted people I meet...where do I start? My Lord, where do I start?

My special effects car has made the rays of the sun hazy, my artistic fridge has made holes in the ozone, of course this makes some people crazy
My friendly air conditioner has made general weather a bit lazy

Everyone blames me and yet I am not being cagey, I am asking you….where do I start? My lord, where do I start?

I bribed the cop who caught me stealing; I greased the palms to accelerate my bank account's healing
For some, I bought pleasure, For Some I brought pain
I worked through the day, and kept the goodnight sleep at bay
And yet no one is happy, no one is gay
I wonder if all this is in vain

Again, where do I start? My lord where do I start?

I touch my keyboard more than my wife; I can see the pressure in my veins rise but not the rate of farmers’ suicides, I can feel the comfort in becoming nuclear but can not feel the rage of the storm brewing near…

are my nerves getting numb? Am I loosing my sight?
Standing underneath my tall building when I couldn’t see even an inch of God’s blue sky, I knew I must be turning blind..

This seems like the end but it could be the beginning

I have come so far and yet my toes are not even tingling

Were all these years just a fling? My lord, were you playing with my feelings?

Where do I start? My lord, where do I start - The beginning of the End of The beginning

We are what we are

Here, I wish to explore how Man became the seflish animal as we know him today. Contributions from all selfish animals are more than welcome. Any incidents, anecdotes, famous historical events, personal experiences, confessions, anything is welcome as far as they qualify for selfish act by men. Here is my contribution:

For last few years me & my wife have been addicted to choclates. Now the rule is that we dont eat more than 1 choclate a day. and I mean 1 choclate bar between two of us. We usually have it post dinner. So, somedays She gets it from the fridge and breaks it into half and some days I do.

We love each other to death and would give our lives for each other at a drop of a hat but I noticed that in all these years, not once either of us have been able to make a fair 50-50 division of the choclate bar. Whoever breaks the choclate always keeps the biiger portion for himself or herself. And one always breaks it so that one piece is bigger than the other.

I have struggled for years to get over this unfair practice but I am unable to and niether is my wife. Strangely we are not so selfish in other spheres but this one act brings out the selfish gene in us. And it does make me wonder that if I cant divide a choclate bar fairly with someone i love more than my own life then what are the other selfish acts I am capable of.

I look forward to reading your contributions.

tally ho!

Who Told you we are Martians?

"Who told you we are called Martians?".....This is the first thing I expect to hear if & when I meet an alien from the planet WE call Mars. If we could find an authentic animal translater, I am sure the first thing we will hear animals say " who told you that we are called Penguins? or whales? or Tigers?".

I have always been amazed by this entire mass naming or branding exercise that has been going on in this world. Who names Planets, species, places, things, etc? What is the methodology? I mean I know scientist name planets and biologist name plants or species but are we all on board for all the names these guys come up with? Have we got a global consensus on each one of these names? I am pretty sure no one asked me before naming all of us Humans. Now whether I like it or not, I am stuck with it.

More interestingly, for all the intelliegent science fiction in the world, not one has touched on this issue. I for one cant recollect any science fiction story, book or movie ever having a scene where the Aliens from Mars or any planet land up and corrected the humans they meet by telling us what they actually call themselves to begin with before blasting our heads off.

Amazingly we also never have a situation where aliens have got the name of our species or planet wrong.

Now, we all know what happened with America. Initially, Columbus thought he had discovered India and hence the natives got the name American Indians. We never bothered to check with them if they already have a name for themselves. And even if we did, the name that stuck was the name that was given to them.

Like us, I am sure all species would like to be known by the names they have thought for themselves. Imagine how pissed we will be if we came to know that on Venus, humans are known as Assholes and Earth as Planet Asshole.

So I really dont know what is the point of my rambling but I am surely interested in Knowing how many of you would be interested to know the real names of planets, species, things....also feel free to suggest alternative names for Planet Earth, Human beings, table or any other mass branding item..

I mean this is our time now, why should we live with the names or branding given by some wierdo way back in BC, AD or whenever...if you ask me, I am even okay with calling Earth - WINDOWS VISTA if Bill gates can pay each one of us our share for branding it so. Only 2 year contracts though, renegotiable post that. Pl raise hands whoever are on board.

cheers!

a.m. :)

Who am I

Writer, filmmaker, man, husband, artist, impatient...any of these words could well be the defination of me but I am nothing if I am not lost...lost but always exploring new grounds to find the real me...Joining this lounge is also a step in that direction.

By the book - I am 2 short 40, Live in Bombay City (now Mumbai City) in India and have been working in the films, media and advertising industries here for last 17 odd years. I always wanted to be a filmmaker and wrote my first story at the age of 6 - It was titled "mystery of the last drop". A murder mystery, The story revolved around a mad scientist who discovers a mysterious poison which when mixed with drinks makes only the last drop poisonous. Unfortunately I couldn't complete this story as even I couldn't solve the mystery of the "poisonous last drop".

However, it did help make clear to me at a very early age that I will have a tough & twisted path to achieve creative success. Ofcourse, after growing up I realised that there is no other way to achieve creative success anyways. But one thing helps - Honesty.

So the plan is - first I find myself, then i find others. Then we do something...anything..to make this a more chilled out world...yes?

tally ho

amit

You know my name

You know my name

In the darkness of the lane, in the street across the left pane
Of the window wet with rain, under the bed made of cane
You know who I am talking about, you know...
You know my name

In the cafe round the corner, sipping diet caffeine,
Talking on the cell, on a bad network range but there's no one out there...and it makes you feel insane
You know who I am talking about, you know...
You know my name

Under the cold shower, or burning from harsh Sun rays
Stuck in the endless jam or going down the lift again
Walking aimlessly in the mall, sifting through the racks
Looking for labels with familiar names
You know who I am talking about, you know...
You know my name

In the bitterness of the winters, in the nakedness of May
On top of a hill, underneath a shallow lake, inside a cave
Skydiving listening to Floyd, working with Bach, sleeping with Jerry, George & Elaine
You know who I am talking about, you know....
You know my name

O Father, Who are you?

O Father, Who are you?

Background 1: I have been married for a while now & we have decided not have kids.
Background 2: India, where I belong, has the 2nd largest population in the world

Years after we took that decision of not having any kids, I still ponder if we took the right decision. Largely because I look around myself and everyone keeps producing kids, irrespective of their financial, social or physical state. There's just nothing that can make people stop producing kids. Most people, at least in India, are going to great lengths & pains to have kids. Marriages are broken; relationships are made based on the abilities to produce kids.

This addiction, obsession to produce kids had been baffling me. I know the usual answers - circle of life, kids are sweet, innocent, it's natural, children complete us, we need children to carry on the legacy, so on and so forth. All true answers but when this producing kids business takes epidemic proportions like it has in India and despite all odds against most people who are producing these kids, It does make me wonder that what's going on that I haven't caught on.

Then recently, my wife decided to take on the responsibility of teaching the poor children of nearby slums. I used to observe them in my space with caution & fear, almost as if they were this alien race that will take over my existence if I wasn't too careful.

And one fine day, my wife had to be somewhere else and I was faced with the situation I had feared all along - Interacting directly with the children, the kids, the species that my fellow countrymen were unwittingly producing away to glory without perhaps realizing the consequences. My wife is very serious about her commitments and I knew I would have to stand in as the teacher the days she is not available, because the kids have to be taught.

I prepared myself mentally for complete surrender, as this had to be a far superior and powerful race if they can have the entire nation hypnotized to perform one function - to produce more of them. I mean who am I to withstand such force? Scared, vulnerable, I started the class....and then something happened....

As the class progressed, instead of weak, meek surrender that I was expecting myself to do, I felt a surge of power...a power I had never experienced before...Though a little nervous at this turn of events, I liked how it felt and I wanted more...

So, now I started looking forward to times my wife would be gone so that I can take this class with the "Kids". Teaching them math, English, Painting....all subjects I hated attending in school. What was happening to me? Why am I drawn to an activity which would otherwise bore me to death? And then it all came....all the answers I was seeking...

In between taking the math class, I told a kid to not talk to his fellow students in a particular way and he listened. Then I asked a kid not to yawn in the class and she listened. Then I asked the whole bunch to sing national anthem before starting the class and they started doing it religiously.

The rush of power I had over these kids was unimaginable. It was like playing GOD. I realized that if I wish I could mould these kids the way I wanted, just like the screenplays of my films. This was ultimate power - the rush one gets to see another human being live a life YOU have designed for him. Even if it lasts a short while till the kid grows up. This power could be addictive.

And this, it dawned on me was the cause of mindless production of this product. Supply is far greater than the demand which is far greater then the need. And all this because this power to play God is a drug that we are all addicted to. The scariest part - we don't know this and we never will. I can already see everyone rubbishing this article as the weirdest theory ever.

This race - The kids, are much more powerful than I thought. First they make us believe - I love kids, they are so sweet, innocent, I want one of them. Then once we have them, the responsibilities, the pain, the suffering is numbed by this drug -power to play GOD. Then as the kids grow up, this drug is slowly taken away, we feel the withdrawal symptoms and just before we can wake up to the reality, a new drug is introduced - love.

This is the stage where the power balance starts shifting but its done so gradually that we don’t feel it till one day we find ourselves asking permission to enter their rooms, requesting them five minutes to have a chat, begging them to accompany us to a family function and then we know the take over is complete when we actually land up funding their flight to the next destination they wish to conquer. All this, while still high on the love drug.

If this theory that I have stumbled upon is true and I believe it is, then it would explain higher population in countries where a common man feels more helpless, powerless then in countries where a common man is more empowered. The drug - power to play God is easy to access and administer and almost everyone can have it and even if for a short while, and even though that drug only works within the confines of your space and family, it does make you feel...well...just like GOD.

Coming back to our decision of not having any kids - well, for now I have chosen to stay away from this drug, tomorrow is another day.

We are what we are

Here, I wish to explore how Man became the seflish animal as we know him today. Contributions from all selfish animals are more than welcome.